Fatalists7
by Iheartmalfoy13
Summary: During the sixth year, as umbridge comes to power the DA is a group which is the only form of resistance against her and the oncoming war, but when Draco malfoy wants to join the DA and when they have to let him in due to helpless circumstances, everyone is suspicious and wants to know his real intention, especially Hermione Granger.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

It's just the way his eyes sweep over the room that make her feel like he is going to run out of the room any second. She knew it would be hard for him, she expected him to back down, she didn't believe that he was really ready to look past the all the prejudices and actually make an effort to mend his relationship with them.  
The lone Slytherin among the crowds of Gryffindor, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws.  
But it's not like his actions were not justified.  
They all knew that his father had gone into hiding just like Karkoroff, the Dark Lord was coming for Lucius Malfoy and his family was in danger, he was safe in Hogwarts of course but they knew his mother was facing all the wrath from other pure blood families or really death eaters who now considered the Malfoy's an outcast.  
Malfoy who always took pride in being a pure blood did not do well with a label of an outcast which, apparently was his new status among his friends. He had befriended other Slytherins but spent most of his time alone.  
How he came to know about the Dumbledore's army no one really knew. But when he confronted Harry about it, Harry knew Malfoy was going to cook up trouble for them, little did he expect Malfoy to ask him to add his name in the list. Did harry trust him? Did anyone trust him? But of course they had no choice, it was of course very Slytherin of Malfoy to blackmail harry into letting him join. Add his name to the list or watch him go to Umbridge and rat about the new found DADA club.  
The room of requirement fell into an awkward hush as Malfoy walked in the sound of his footsteps echoing and hushed whispers filled the room. He walked to the corner of the room and raised his eyebrows as he noticed everyone eyeing him like a hawk.  
"uh, ahem, uh" harry stammered as he tried to explain to everyone the surprising arrival of Draco Malfoy.  
"So what I was trying to say is, that a..." and as harry continued the presence of Malfoy was no more a concerning topic. Not that it wasn't a topic much talked about between the members of the DA.  
Hermione had her own set of questions to interrogate harry with. " So is he technically in the Dumbledore's Army or is he just attending the sessions so that he can only protect himself and run away like a little ferret when the time to fight actually comes?" she asked Harry for the hundredth time. "how do you know he is not actually spying for Umbridge!?" she fired at harry. " I really don't know 'mione" he told her, " but if Umbridge knew she would bust us the second she would come to know, and Malfoy had already attended three sessions, plus he couldn't be in the inquisitorial squad, he loathes them all his old friends are in it, he can't stand them anymore, everyone has noticed that."  
Hermione considered his answer and was going to ask him another question but Harry stopped her mid breath and said in the most defeated tone " I am as confused as you when it comes to this situation, but there is nothing we can do we are trapped, so just let it be and if you want to complain about it, go to ron he is definitly the one who malfoy pissed off the most".  
He left her alone in the corridor as he hurried for his divination class and she spun around her heels and hurried to her arithmancy class.

" Bloody malfoy is working for umbridge! I know it. Why else would he so interested to join us? He tries to threaten us eh? Let's obliviate him, everyone else will reckon that its probably you-know-who and his cronies who did it!"  
" ron your making no sense I already told you what harry thought about malfoy working for umbridge and I think he is right, and the fact that we could obliviate him and blame it on you-know-who is just absurd. People don't even seem to believe he is back"  
Ron replied with a shrug, " but whatever, malfoy is trouble I know it"  
Hermione sensed it too and though everyone had different takes on malfoy, their history made her despise him.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

"and that's it for today" continued harry and everyone in the room burst into a loud cheer.

"We have another twenty minutes left" someone hollered from the back of the room.

"How about you show us something new, Harry" Hermione whispered, with an encouraging nod. "okay so..."

"show us a patronus harry!" Luna called out.

Everyone else shouted out in agreement.

"um a patronus..." harry looked into the crowd and then at his friends, "go on" quipped Ron.

"expecto patronum"

The room was in a daze as a stag

Burst out of his wand and went darting out the window filling the room with jets of blue light.

Pale faces stared at the patronus in wonder, and as the blue faded out, hushed whispers filled the room.

" it's all about how your feeling, you need to think about the happiest memories, things that light you up, it's really thinking about things that make you happy and using that feeling to fuel your patronus..."

People spread out into the room trying to make space so that they can try too.

Hermione found herself a lone corner and tried to think of happy memories, Harry and Ron, her parents, the time they first met, the end of the first year...

After several tries and little success she looked around the room and found people in the same situation. Jets of blue light trying to emerge from their wands, dying out before they could express their astonishment.

"it's going to take a lot of practice and you all are doing really well" Harry went on sincerely. Her eyes swept the room and fell on a deserted corner where Malfoy was standing alone. His face was contorted in concentration, his body stiff with tension, the intensity in his grey eyes piercing the floor, it made her uncomfortable how hard was trying, he could not even manage a little blue spark.

Sadly, Malfoy who often mastered all the other charms and spells failed miserably in this endeavour.

The fun ended when one of the students pointed out that the time was way pass curfew and if they don't get out in time then the inquisitorial squad will probably get to them.

Everyone moved out quickly making their way to their respective quarters.

Harry followed the last one out Hermione had already started walking towards the Gryffindor towers when she heard Umbridge's high pitched shriek.

"Get them! All of them!" she screamed as the Slytherins with their newly appointed badges ran towards them.

The members of the DA ran in opposite directions in panic.

Hermione was terrified there was no way they could get caught today. How could all of it end so fast? She ran towards an empty corridor and hid behind one of the pillars to take a quick breath. Hogwarts was full of secret passages she could use one of them, but she would probably end up getting lost instead.

She heard some people running around the corner and sprinted down the corridor and turned, she could see a dark passage so she quickly slid inside. The passage was so dark it was impossible to see where it lead so she just stood right at the entrance of the passage so that she would be concealed but would not stray too far from the main corridor. She had no idea where she was, obviously not anywhere near the Gryffindor tower.

She could hear footsteps and quick breathing coming in her direction. She pressed her back against the wall and waited for them to pass by as soon as the footsteps became distant she leaned forward to take a quick peek.

She squeaked as she felt something cold grab her arm and pull her towards the dark, she looked down to see pale hands pulling her deeper into the passage she jerked her arm to break free from the strong hold but it proved useless. Amidst the struggle a ray of light from the corridor fell upon the strangers face and Hermione stood still in shock no more struggling. "Malfoy?"

"Granger didn't it occur to you that the people who just passed by may have been DA members and not the inquisitorial squad, and didn't that little brain of yours think twice about the fact that they may have been followed by the inquisitorial squad so you should wait a little longer before you take a peek?"

Hermione was dumb struck, first of all she didn't like being told what to do by Malfoy and secondly she hated herself for knowing that Malfoy was right.

And as if further prove that Hermione had made a big mistake they heard loud footsteps

Coming towards them.

"We just saw your head peep out of there, you better come out!"

The voice sounded really familiar, unlike Hermione malfoy seemed to recognize the voice calling out to them, he put on his usual smirk and walked out the dark passage past Hermione confidently.

"Are you lost Crabbe?" Malfoy asked with all the attitude of the inquisitor instead of the guilty victim.

Crabbe seemed to be in a loss of words as he struggled speak stuttering something about how

Malfoy should not be out during this hour if he wanted no trouble.

Malfoy let out a chuckle.

"If you remember Crabbe, just because I decide not to join the inquisitorial squad doesn't mean my prefect badge won't allow me to stroll the corridors at night"

Hermione silently cursed herself for getting stuck in this situation, Malfoy might just rat her out and save himself with some brownie points from Umbridge, getting exactly what he wanted who would even believe that Malfoy was in the DA.

Crabbe was left speechless for some time, probably due to the terrifying glare thrown towards him by Malfoy.

The silence went on for some time and Hermione was quite sure she heard Crabbe's heavy steps walk away and felt her herself give out a sigh of relief. She waited for some time half expecting Malfoy to signal her that its safe and half reminding her that she should not make the mistake she did some time ago.

As she quietly walked down the corridor, she tried to ignore the little voice at the back of her head cursing herself for feeling disappointed that Malfoy was not there when she finally revealed herself.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

They were lucky that none of them had been caught, but now they had to be extra careful. They couldn't have fixed schedules otherwise someone would figure out their timings so as a security measure they chose to have random sessions at random timing and Hermione put extra spells on the coins so that if any were lost or in the wrong hands then it would not seem like anything else than a fake galleon even if they used magic to reveal anything uncommon about the coin.  
Everyone was surprised when Hermione who was the last one to reach the Gryffindor common room narrated the whole incident to her fellow housemates. They all seemed genuinely surprised, though no one gave up on their suspicions about Malfoy. When everyone was talking about tightening up the security, a few suggested that it would be better if Malfoy was given a coin of his own instead of being called for the sessions by notes thrown at him or messages passed on by mouth. If someone else heard something or someone caught the note... It would be too risky.

That's how Hermione found herself charming yet another coin late at night at the library. While she was doing so she thought of getting a little creative. Being best of friends with Ron and Harry was rubbing off on her, her side mischievous was coming out a little too often. If the coin was going to be given to Malfoy and he was going to have it with him all the time to make sure he didn't miss any sessions then she could use it for another purpose than telling Malfoy when they had to come to the room of requirement.

She was going to use it to spy on him.

The next night when she was finally done, (it has taken her quite some time) she heard him walking towards her in the library. (She had used her previous mode of communication).  
" Took you long enough Granger" Malfoy spit out as soon as he got into Hermione's line of sight. Hermione was a little nervous desperately wishing that he doesn't figure out the coins also been charmed to spy on him.  
She held out her hand with the coin on it making sure that her expression remained as blank as possible.  
As he took it from her she could feel his cool fingertips brush against her palm. He rolled the coin through his fingertips a few times inspecting it with his usual smirk, and Hermione mentally scolded herself for almost giving away with a flicker a fear that passed through her features.

Luckily Malfoy didn't notice.

"Fine spell work Granger" he drawled and he left Hermione wondering whether he was mocking her or whether Draco Malfoy had actually complimented her.

She hadn't told her plans to either Ron or Harry. She knew Ron would be too excited to prove that Malfoy was really up to something and would act impulsively at any move made by Malfoy and Harry was simply too busy.  
She had borrowed the marauders map from Harry since the listening charm wouldn't make much sense without knowing where Malfoy actually was and she used those ear things (which they called extendable ears) Fred and George had made to eavesdrop only difference that Hermione could hear everything Malfoy or anyone near him was saying without being anywhere near him at all.

She would listen in between classes to what Malfoy was doing or when she saw Malfoy going anywhere unusual. But she didn't get anything out of the ordinary, though a little unbelievable Malfoy was having a pretty dull life leaving out the DA meetings.  
One lazy afternoon as Hermione sat in the library her eyes moving back and forth her textbook and the map she spotted some unusual activity that she was hopping would happen the whole time. She saw Blaise Zabini had corned Malfoy into a passage. They were simply standing there so they must have been having a heated discussion.  
She quickly grabbed the charmed ear.

"Zabini I am warning you, that's the last thing you want to do" Malfoy growled.  
" why, because it would hurt your already damaged reputation?" Zabini questioned almost threatening Malfoy himself.  
" who would have thought Draco Malfoy son of the fleeing death eater would make his father even prouder by joining the faith full servants of Dumbledore"

Hermione gasped. How did he know?  
She pulled the ear closer hanging on to every word.

She felt like she could even hear Malfoy smirk before he answered.  
" say anything you want to Zabini I have worse secrets I can spill, and much more harm I can do to you. And if I do decide to, then people probably won't even believe that Dumbledore has an army much less me joining it."

"You better be careful" Malfoy almost sang in the most intimidating, mocking tone which sent chills down Hermione's spine.

Later that evening Hermione sat in the common room contemplating Malfoy's actions, it was justified that he defended the threat against his reputation but why did he defend the secret about the DA. Hermione felt very guilty about the charms she had set up and mentally promised herself not to use that coin to spy on malfoy again.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The whole idea of the DA was so rebellious it excited everyone so much no one wanted to miss a session. It seemed to uplift everyone's spirit, however oppressive Umbridge was when all of them entered the Room of requirement their faces seemed to spark up.  
Hermione had pretty much forgotten the whole spy thing she had pulled off with Malfoy. She didn't exactly feel like telling Harry and Ron about it though because then she would have to explain why she didn't tell them about it in the first place.  
She would have completely forgotten about it if Malfoy had not cornered her as she walked out of the library.  
"I see you took me to be a fool Granger"  
Hermione froze as Malfoy's tall and lean figure appeared right in front of her. He looked angry, furious actually.  
Hermione felt for her wand inside her robes and held on to it tightly.  
" took you long enough to figure that one, Malfoy" she went on sounding better than she thought she would.  
" I hope you accomplished whatever you hoped to because this little charade of yours won't last very long. You don't trust me that's fine I don't need you to either, but remember the club of yours can't last any longer, and when it is over don't blame me because I have better things to do than plan schemes to hurt you and petty group of friends."  
" well it's good you found something better to do, at least we have got you off our backs"  
Malfoy's glare was terrifying as she looked up to him in the eye. He was quite a bit taller than her and she technically had to raise her chin.  
" what's changed Malfoy? Why do you suddenly want to change sides?" Hermione knew she had gone a little too far she didn't want to provoke Malfoy and she was as care full with her words as she could be.  
" it's merely being smart than changing sides Granger, you can't have believed that I would join you puny so called brave souls to battle the Dark Lord and risk my life. I have more important priorities Granger and my life definitely has more value than yours, so I would understand why you would want to throw yours away".  
Hermione bit back another insulting remark. She was actually amused that he still had the blood prejudice as his family had a social status equivalent to blood traitors. But more amusing than that fact was that he also believed that Voldemort is coming back. Till now very few people seemed to believe it and that hideous reporter Rita Skeeter had seemed to make it seem like a joke. But Malfoy who must know about the whole business had confirmed that Harry was actually right all along. Hermione smiled to herself, Malfoy must have seemed like undeserving trouble but he might actually be of some use.  
" Why are you grinning like an idiot Granger? And could you not look at me like I am some prize, I get it watching Potter and that weasel whole day must make your eyes hurt."  
She had been putting up these crude comments for years, this one didn't even make her flinch.  
Though it did make her blush, she did realize that she had been looking at Malfoy a little longer than she had intended so she rolled her eyes before looking back at him.  
" So you do believe Harry, don't you Malfoy or is it too difficult to accept?"  
Malfoy just looked more amused.  
" I believe what I know, for as the bloody Potter he may as well have been cooking up his own fairy tales"  
Hermione glared at him.  
" Don't act like you know any better Malfoy, we have heard the rumours too, and we are easier to believe them than the rest of the school, you may have made it to the DA but everyone is still sceptical and is keeping an eye on you, one wrong move and.."  
"What you'll kick me out, let's see how you do that. And keep your nose out of my business I didn't know that mudbloods were particularly nosy. Or maybe it's just you"  
And just like that he walked out of the conversation leaving Hermione's blood boiling and the word "mudblood" ringing again and again in her head.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

The little conversation that she had Malfoy had was unintentionally kept a secret because she really did not want to bother Harry and Ron with the whole details when their first Qudditch match of the season was going to start. And with Ron playing as the keeper the last thing she wanted to do is disturb Ron's already disturbed mind.  
It was Gryffindor vs. Slytherin and she was keen to see Malfoy's face as he lost the match. She found it quite surprising to see that Malfoy seemed the least interested in playing. Before he would throw all kind of looks at Harry's direction now he was just lazily riding his broom. And it was clear that he didn't make much of an effort to catch the snitch. What had happened to Malfoy? It should have made Hermione happy that they lost the match except she just felt angry as she saw Malfoy saunter off the field with that amused smirk on his face as if saying to anyone who was looking at him that he knew something that they did not and it just made Hermione's blood curdle.

Hermione decided to skip the celebrations and instead follow Malfoy up to the castle. She did a quick silencing charm so that he would not hear her behind him. Just as he turned the corner Montague approached him.

"Malfoy, did you think that I would just let it go? You do realize you're responsible for what happened there." Malfoy completely ignored him and tried to walk past but Montague's huge built blocked his way. You could see a slight hint of aggression on his face.  
"Don't try to pretend Malfoy, you've been missing quite a few practice sessions lately."  
Malfoy's face twitched.  
"Let me give you a reminder, your father is not there to save you a seat anymore, you might as well as consider yourself out of the team."  
The anger in Malfoy's face was evident his fist clenched so tight his knuckles looked white, surprising even for a pale complexion like his. Malfoy shoved Montague and marched towards the school.  
"Going to find your father Malfoy?"  
The next moment both of them had their wands out.  
"confringo!"  
The blasting spell hit both of them at the same time. The wands flew out of their hands. Malfoy had stood up and was running towards Montague before he even go up. Aiming a punch at his face.  
Hermione didn't realise that the rest of the school had gathered around them, the Gryffindor's amused seeing the Slytherins fight with each other, while the Slithering's wore an expression of extreme confusion which Ron actually found funny.  
She tried to hide her irritation towards Ron and was thinking of trying to intervene when Montague threw a last punch before Mcgonagall appeared, her booming voice demanding an explanation.  
"How dare you exhibit Muggle duelling? 50 points from Slytherin. Now both of you off to the hospital wing before I deduct anymore points from your house".  
A few Gryffindor's at the back jeered as the Slytherins threw looks of distaste towards them. Malfoy spit out blood from his mouth before concealing his cut lips with his sleeve, its sight made Hermione flinch.

The crowd dissipated quickly and Hermione was completely lost in thought until harry nudged her by his elbow. " he deserved it though, eh?" Ron went on, Hermione frowned at him reluctant to feel pity for Malfoy but all at the same time thinking to herself that the comment Ron made was altogether too harsh.  
The drama that unfolded outside the Quidditch field did not in any way hamper the Gryffindor celebration for the first victory if the season. She was happy for them, though Hermione didn't always get Quidditch, but she just wasn't up for the celebration. When she returned to her dorm a little too early.  
She just felt that it was a little peculiar that she was feeling this way at all.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

The preparation of the OWLS made it harder to assign dates for the DA. And the crowd was frenzy with excitement when they finally got in some time for practice. Hermione was glad to be around these people again. Finally learning something than just reading the textbooks back and forth and staring at the road like face that Umbridge was so suitably gifted.

She felt a little uneasy as Malfoy caught her eyes, they immediately fell on the cut on his lips, and they had left an ugly scar which he evidently refused to remove. She dragged her eyes back to what she was concentrating on earlier. Only to have her thoughts evaded by him.

'' it's no use spying on him she thought it would only bring more trouble- with the OWLS and with Ron and harry finally studying she did not want to get into another sticky situation.

Hagrid's arrival was quite a surprise and the cause of it even more surprising. The strory of the giants fascinated her but she was much more worried about Hagrid facing that gruesome woman Umbridge while she inspected him. She was determined to help Hagrid sort out his lessons and make sure that he didn't end up like Trelawney.

She didn't exactly succeed as she found herself marching deeper into the forbidden forest as she followed Hagrid. The rest of the class behind the three of them. What new thing could Hagrid possibly come up with she thought to herself? They walked for 10 min until they reached a place where the trees stood so close it was dark as twilight. They watched cautiously as Hagrid put down the huge pile of meat and called out to whatever creature he was planning to show them. A minute passed and they saw nothing. She tried to look harder as she saw Harry's eyes growing wider; she moved a little closer to the meat to get a better view. Hagrid bellowed "now, put your hand up who can see 'em" Harry, Neville and some stringy Slytherins raised their hands. She moved closer and almost tripped over a tree trunk but strong hands gripped her arm and steadied her.

"They're close granger, I would not go any closer if I were you"

His voice sent a chill down her spine.

"You can see them?" Hermione asked. He didn't bother answering. He obviously didn't want to others to know since he hadn't raised his hand.

"If you get attacked it will probably be messy although I would enjoy it I wouldn't want to go through the trouble." He drawled and walked away.

As Hagrid announced that these invisible creatures were thresals her mind clicked.

"Right now who can tell me why some of you can see them and some of you can't'

Hagrid asked

Hermione's hand instinctively shot up.

"The only people who can see thresals are" she said" people who have seen death"

She looked warily at harry and Neville and her eyes scanned the eyes for Draco.

The Umbridge's arrival ruined Hermione's excitement. And Hermione started cursing her under her breath as she started listing completely false complaints about Hagrid's class. Her blood boiled as she watched Umbridge question the Slytherins about Hagrid.  
Hearing their complaints made her even more furious and she finally couldn't take it anymore when Malfoy told Umbridge about how most of the creatures Hagrid introduced were a safety hazard. Hermione realized she wasn't the only one who was glaring at Malfoy. 's amused smile Harry and Ron looked furious too.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have"  
All three of them burst into laughter. Harry's mistletoe incident with Cho had confused him beyond doubt. When she explained to him why Cho felt the way she did, the boys got even more confused. Ron stating that a person couldn't possibly feel all that at once. With the holidays coming closer all of them were in a merry mood. She was happy that Harry was joining the Weasley's for Christmas. She was looking forward to the holidays even more.

It all fell apart when she woke up the next morning. Finding out that harry and Ron had left due to some emergency which she was not even aware of broke her heart. Mcgonagall explained to her the little information that she had. Harry had seen a dream about Mr Weasly getting attacked and had reported to Dumbledore, unfortunately it was true and harry along with all the Weasley's then had rushed to St. Mungos.

The unprecedented incident took Hermione by surprise. She wanted to help, see if Mr Weasly was okay and make sure that Ron, Ginny and rest of the family were doing okay. She wrote letters to them but she knew they didn't do much good. without her two best friends and Ginny she felt very alone. Empty conversations with Neville at the breakfast table and the long silences at the library made her mad. She needed to do something with the few days she had remaining before going home for Christmas.

She heard him first, and her feet pulled her towards the sound. She didn't know why but she had to go to him. His strangled cries echoed through the walls of the washroom. She hesitated just as she entered but it was too late for second thoughts. His hands gripping the sink, his shoulders tense and his head looking down in defeat. That's how she found Draco Malfoy the boy that had called her all sorts of names, the boy that had gone all lengths to hurt her, the boy that she had hated up until now. Now all she felt was pity, and she hated herself for feeling it, not because some part of her told her that she is supposed to hate Malfoy not pity him, but because she knew he would hate it if he would know that she pitied him, it would break him, make him more broken than he already was.

All she could hear was his breathing, he was almost heaving, trying to control his pain, trying to convert it to rage. It was painful to watch.

She realized that she shouldn't actually be there, it was a mistake to follow her instincts. But she couldn't go back now.

"Granger, you make appearances in the most inappropriate of times"

He said it with a kind of distaste and dark humour. She didn't expect him to sound like this, like he was okay, like he was completely fine, like he was not completely wasted on the inside. Maybe he still had some of the Malfoy inside of him. However his physical appearance did not support him.

He had his sweater off and the white shirt clinging to his lean frame, his hair covering his swollen red eyes and a quivering lip.

It took her too long to respond.

"Don't we cross paths a little too often these days? I find it rather strange, too many coincidences you see?"  
Though his voice was steady and tone of snobbery still present, but somehow he sounded different.

"Believe me Malfoy, I am trying whatever I can to avoid you."

"and this is the perfect explanation to why you are here, right now." he shot back.

She felt her cheeks go red... She didn't want him to get to her again. Not this time.

"is there something wrong Malfoy" she tried her best to not sound fake.  
He chuckled.  
"Don't act like you care, why you don't go shower your kindness on those house elves."  
Though offended she asked again.  
"Is there something that's troubling you?"

"yes"

He turned around and strode towards her, she was still registering his answer. Their faces now inches apart, as he titled her chin towards him and brushed his lips against hers.

"this is what's bothering me"

She realised that she had stopped breathing. With her lips burning and the feeling of his ice cold finger's still lingering on her chin she hadn't even realized that as Draco Malfoy left he was actually smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

 **AUTHORS NOTE: thank you all for reading. It would make me super happy if you all could review the chapters after reading so that i know whether you actually like it or not. Keep reading this is the longest chapter yet and its super exciting!**

* * *

She decided to believe it never happened. It never happened, yes nothing had happened.

Tea with Hagrid was pleasant, visiting the green house with Neville interesting, helping McGonagall and working out her prefect duties tiring, completing her assignments beforehand unnecessary and trying to forget what happened nearly impossible.

Her ears perked up and her cheeks burned red when Hagrid mentioned the pesky Slytherins who wanted him fired. When Neville talked about how he had partnered with _him_ during a DA session. When McGonagall complained that the Slytherin prefects were doing extra decorations which got them more points.

Even a slight mention of Malfoy or anything to do with him triggered a series of thoughts which she had strictly forbidden herself to think. How much ever she tried to erase and deny the events the past it always crept up on her, especially when she was alone. The memory was crystal clear, she felt like she could still smell the scent he had left behind. The only thing that was a blur was the confusion of the aftermath which she was still unfortunately suffering from.

* * *

She jumped up in surprise as the envelope nearly fell into her cereal, she grabbed it and tore it open she let out a sigh of relief like she finally let down the weight she was carrying since last week. She tried to make out the most from Ron's illegible handwriting, most of the letter explained their sudden departure and the rest apologising for such a late response (it was because they were in Grimmauld Place). The letter ended with Ron expressing his concern for Harry, since the incident seemed to have troubled harry the most. A quick P.S scribbled asking her for a favor, Ron wanted her to put away the quid ditch equipment, he had forgotten to and Angelina would kill him if she found out that he hadn't.

She smiled to herself and put the letter away, quickly finishing her breakfast so that she could be done with the favor Ron had asked of her. As she left the Great Hall she just realized that this was the first time all week that she hadn't thought of a _certain incident_.

She had taken a detour, on the way to the Quidditch field. She couldn't contain her excitement and had to tell Hagrid that Ron had finally replied to her letter. A little visit turned into an unexpected lunch and by the time Hagrid let Hermione out it was already evening. She ran towards the Quidditch arena praying that it would not start snowing, Hagrid had predicted that a storm was arriving and had asked her to go directly to her dorm but she had insisted to complete her chore.

She was out of breath by the time she was done putting all the knee and shoulder pads in the trunk. She regretted her decision of not letting Neville assist her, some help was better than none but then she remembered how clumsy he could be and her regret quickly melted away.

A quick _Wingardium leviosa_ three trunks were following her out of the arena. The wind hit her with such force she had to squint to actually see anything. As she turned back she could see a small figure whizzing through the air, she rolled her eyes and trudged ahead. She could never understand why people were so crazy about Quidditch. Why would anyone want to practice in such weather? She thought to herself. Her chain of thought was broken as she felt her boots give away to the ice she stepped on. She fell on her arse. Worse things followed, the trunks fell with a thump in front of her and her heart skipped a beat ad one of the trunks flew open. The buldger whizzed past her head missing her by inches, she quickly got to her feet trying her best to spot the buldger which she guessed had flown towards the arena. The storm had picked up its pace and she could barely see anything through the sleet. Her eyes finally caught the buldger and let out a horrified scream as it flew towards the Quidditch player who was knocked of the broom. She broke into a sprint.

She frantically searched the blinding snow for some sign of the player. Her eyes spotted a hint of green and brown and all the wind blew out of her.

The green looked almost black in comparison to the snow but his fair skin and hair provided little contrast with the snow. As she got closer she could see him wincing. He was still conscious. The snow had wet his whole uniform, there was no blood except the little of red that freckled his lips.

" Ribbss.. brok..kk..en" he croaked and she broke out of her trance.

She grabbed his arms and pulled him up, he winced again.

"Need to get you to the castle" she puffed out.

"Cant"

"Too far"

She helped him up and mentally went through all her options but the most logical one seemed absurd.

All his weight fell on to her when he got up. She put his arm around her shoulder as she tried to steady them. Using all her strength and dragging them both forward.

The snow had completely drenched him and now the chill had travelled through his uniform to her coat it pricked her dry skin and goose bumps made her shiver all over. Thoughts of pneumonia coursed through her mind.

He began to cough violently and blood sprinkled on the snow. Absolute terror coursed through her veins. She had run out of breath and was respiring heavily trying to calm herself down. She could now taste the salt pouring out of her eyes.

She glanced up, but regretted that she did. His grey eyes were blood shot and dull scarlet stained his lips, his face was contracted in pain.

She pushed harder. Finally spotting Hagrid's hut.

"Almost there" she said to console him or maybe even herself.

Twenty feet away she felt Malfoy give as all his weight fell on her. His knees hit the snow. She tried her best to keep him upright. She cupped his face with her hands.

"Malfoy she squeaked.

There was blood all over her hands as her fingers brushed his lips. She tried to make him look at her.

"Draco" she brushed away the hair that fell on his eyes, and his grey irises finally met hers. Thousands of images flashed through her mind as her lips formed words.

"Stay with me".


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

The rush of the next ten minutes felt like a blur. Breaking into a sprint- almost tripping on the steps- slamming the door- Hagrid's confused face- Draco's limp body in Hagrid's arms.

The warmth of Hagrid's hut for a second reassured her that it would be okay. But as she evaluated Malfoy's state she began to dread that it was not okay at all.

He looked a little blue and the blood which was earlier pouring out of his mouth had dried up. She took off her wet coat which was weighing her down and ran towards the fireplace where Hagrid had placed Malfoy.

Hagrid was unsuccessfully trying to remove Malfoy's uniform, his giant hands all over the place. Hermione insisted that she could do it and quickly unfastened his Quiddtich robes.

He was ice cold and she could see the skin above his broken ribs coming off a little blue. She held back a whimper as tears began to roll down her eyes and she began to helplessly sob, thinking "it's all my fault".

Hagrid tried to wipe off all the blood with a wash cloth and covered Draco with his dragon skin.

"I am going to call Madam Pomfrey" Hermione declared trying to sound braver than she felt.

"Can't happen. That storms going to blow ye away", Hagrid grunted as he got up and grabbed his coat.

"Keep him alive", Hagrid said as he shut the door, leaving Hermione alone with her guilt, and a severely wounded Draco Malfoy.

* * *

She dried last of her tears before facing him.

The dragon skin being heavy was probably hurting Malfoy's ribs, she removed it from his chest and expectedly Malfoy's features softened.

She got the wash cloth and tried removing the rest of the blood, but her hand wouldn't stop shaking. His skin was warmer probably due to the fire. She checked his pulse and became anxious as she realised it was slower than normal.

"You still here" she whispered desperately hoping for a reply.

His fair lashes fluttered.

"You owe me" he grunted.

Hermione let out a sound which sounded half like a squeak and half like a laugh. She was so relieved that he was okay she completely forgot to make sense out of his words. When she did, guilt washed over her like a tide. She was about to ask him how he knew when he answered with his eyes half open as only his lips moved to form an answer.

"Saw you messing with the equipment"

She was going to blurt out a thousand apologies and excuses but just as she began he chuckled.

"Seems like you got your revenge on what happened last time"

She blushed as she realised that he was referring to 'that' incident.

"It was certainly not planned Malfoy", she replied.

"Just to let you know it was not hurting as much, I have hand broken ribs before, it was just the cold."

Hermione let out a laugh.

"You don't have to put up a façade at critical moments like this Malfoy, I know that the buldger knocked you up pretty bad"

At this Malfoy's eyes looked up and his gaze met hers. His grey eyes made her feel exposed and she shifted uncomfortably.

A long silence ensued.

"I enjoy your guilt trip by the way" and both of them broke into laughter.

Malfoy kept wincing in pain as he attempted to laugh and Hermione suddenly realised the seriousness of the situation.

"Why don't you keep still for a while Malfoy" she ordered.

"You think I can afford to move" he shot back.

She sighed and went to look into Hagrid's pantry maybe she could fix up a quick draught. She did find some stuff but it wouldn't be effective. She began preparing a quick pain numbing potion. And all this while she could feel his eyes on her back. It made her somewhat nervous.

She spotted Fangs asleep in the corner and wondered how he could remain asleep through all this commotion.

As she brought the draught Malfoy refused to take it.

"Your second attempt to murder me?" he questioned.

"Either you take it or I force it down your throat, you choose"

He unfortunately choose the latter.

As she put all the stuff away and sat down he began to fight the sleepiness that he potion caused.

"If I never wake up, my ghosts is going to haunt you forever." He murmured.

His frown dissolved as his lids shut, his sneer wiped clean and his face relaxed he looked like a different person all together. It felt like it was the first time Hermione had ever seen him like this and she liked it. She watched him take slow breaths his chest rising and falling gently her eyes wandered slowly to his well-defined torso, to his lean muscular arms, his broad shoulders, to his strong set jaw, the bridge of his nose, the fair hair sticking in all directions and some falling into his eyes. She cringed at her bizarre thoughts and looked away.

But she didn't want to miss the chance of watching Malfoy with his guard down so she went back to watching the warm flicker of the fire reflect on his skin. Then exhaustion took over and she sighed sleepily as she let her guard down too.

* * *

She dreamt of green curtains, empty gift boxes and chasing butterflies in her backyard and then she was falling and falling and falling. When she hit the ground she heard a loud crash. She forced her eyes open, everything looked hazy and blotted out. The window were rattling due to the force of the storm, her body ached and her lids still felt heavy.

Her unfocused eyes drifted over to Malfoy who was still in the same position but was now shivering, his breathing heavy, his face reflecting an expression of extreme discomfort and his fist clenched tight. As she got closer she could hear his low whimpers and grunts, his lips were quivering.

Her mind clouded and vision still unclear she crept closer to him. She had no idea what to do, she was completely clueless. She began stroking his arm murmuring empty words of comfort and consolation. Low groans escaped his lips and his brows furrowed, his forehead creased into infinite lines of pain.

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to get rid of the image which had imprinted itself in her head. Her chest suddenly felt heavy and her heart ached at this sight. She had this extremely impulsive desire to get rid of whatever it was that was hurting him. She wanted even just for a minute to make him forget, to make him numb.

So she kissed him.

She kissed him in the hope that he could feel something other than pain, so that maybe just for the shortest moment they could let go, let their prejudices be, not care about consequences. Disconnect form the world in which their self-imposed restrictions held them back. Where they would completely suspend themselves free of strings which held on to reality. That Hermione granger felt when she kissed drack Malfoy, it explained why Hermione couldn't face normality when their lips had touched the last time. Because when it did she was transported to a place, from where she never wanted to return.

* * *

 _Author's note: i hope you liked it. please do review so that i know your opnions!_


	10. CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 10

 **This ones a short one, but the next chapters are gonna be better. Hope you liked the previous ones.**

Time and reality got to her soon after. And she had to carry on, finding Malfoy gone in the morning she had to return to her duties and responsibilities. To her dismay time had not frozen when she was in that little hut ,she has missed quite a lot of things. For example her ride to London in the Knight Bus. Her plans for skiing with her parents apparently was going to be delayed or cancelled, or maybe cancelled she didn't exactly feel ecstatic about snow anymore.

She signed her name onto the list of those staying back for Christmas and wrote a quick letter to her parents explaining to them the completely false circumstances due to which she would be joining them a few days after Christmas. After sending the owl away she sat down on her bed rolling out a fresh parchment listing all the gifts she needed to buy for Christmas, and all the while she tried to ignore the voice in her head which reminded her how lonely this Christmas was going to be.

As she began her walk back to the castle after a grueling shopping spree ( she just couldn't decide what to get for her parents) she decided to stop by Three Broom Sticks and have a butter beer for the good times sake.

Seeing Malfoy at the bar arguing with Madam Rosmerta was a complete surprise.

" its not even a excuse, I need it because I know a professor of mine who is very fond of it. He does expect me to give him a good present."

" Common Madam Rosmerta you really want to ruin someone's Christmas?"

" I am saying it again Mr Malfoy we have really begun to tighten up the rules here we are strictly not serving fire whisky to minors."

" since when" Malfoy retorted a look of absolute disbelief on his face.

" okay, then seems like someone is going to really disappointed with Christmas"

At this statement Madam Rosmerta let out a huge sigh.

" look Mr. Malfoy I wouldn't mind if it were really going to be a present for someone, but it makes it really hard to believe that you don't have a ulterior motive."

As Hermione approached the bar Madam Rosmerta looked towards her and said " now if Ms. Granger were here asking for the same it would not trouble my conscience and I would happily sell her a bottle." Aiming a pointed look towards Malfoy, making sure the statement would sting or at least make an impression.

Hermione smiled at her and gave her friendly greeting, inwardly laughing as she glanced towards Malfoy's defeated face.

" Coincidently Madam Rosmerta I was came in just for that, you see Hagrid really likes some especially during Christmas." she said as she forced herself not to look towards Malfoy.

" Coming right up sweetheart" madam Rosmerta sang as she went to retrieve some fire whisky.

She tried to keep a straight face and not look towards Malfoy as he gave her a lingering glare and walked out of the bar.

After her payments and continuously thanking Madam Rosetta for her compromise Hermione walked out of Three Broom Sticks.

It was not exactly a surprise as Malfoy caught up to her.

" I have a feeling that Hagrid would not enjoy a bottle of firewhisky as much a someone else would."

She found it odd that his voice felt familiar and she congratulated herself for the small victory, her recent purchase was having exactly all the effects she intended it to have.

" well that someone else needs to be of age to actually drink firewhisky"

" don't tell me you actually believe that bullshit Granger" he said.

" these are basic rules which are followed by muggles too."

She didn't know why but at this moment he started laughing, she tried to show her annoyance by throwing a look of distaste at him but it only made him laugh harder. She found it weird that she found Malfoy's laugh amusing, she remembered times when his laugh used to make her blood boil.

" Listen granger, you already owe me so this could be a very little price to pay for you huge debt. I going a little easy on you. Now hand it over."

She rolled her eyes, she had forgotten about it and she wondered whether she should ask how he was doing. But she thought not to, if he wasn't okay he wouldn't be walking around trying to convince barmaids to sell him alcohol.

" why do you need to drink fire whisky in the first place" she asked.

This time he rolled his eyes and answered, " I would normally say it's none of your business but I feel like it is a little obvious that no one likes to spend their Christmas alone"

Hermione felt something tug at her throat as she handed the bottle over. She felt speechless but her mind was swimming with thoughts.

" I refrain from thanking you because it isn't exactly a favour" he said as he took the bottle from her.

He walked way, after a few feet he turned back and shouted

" I knew it wasn't for Hagrid in the first place."

Hermione finally let herself smile. Sometimes she just couldn't justify her actions.

 **Let me know what you guys think!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Christmas Eve, didn't feel all that special even though the feast was exceptional. Food was the last thing on Hermione's mind anyway. She hurried to the Gryffindor common room hoping that no one would be wondering there looking for idle conversation with few of those who had stayed back.

But as she was halfway there she thought of taking a little detour, a little fresh air wouldn't harm her. She wondered around the hallway, the only audible sound were the sound of her footsteps although the silence didn't sound so threatening since there was a very loud argument going on inside of her head.

When she realized she was walking so fast that she was almost out of breath she slowed down a little, it was pretty cold, her cheeks were stinging and her hands weren't getting any warmer in her pockets. She was mentally mapping her position and wondering which part of the castle she was in when she realized she unconsciously brought herself exactly where she wanted to be.

The astronomy tower.

It was quite a sight to behold. The stars looked brighter than usual as if they too were excited about tomorrow's festivities. It kind of intimidated Hermione as if the rest of the world and the stars were on about some inside joke which she could not be a part of.

As if to show she was not the only one neglected she spotted a familiar figure sitting on the parapet. She didn't even want to bother thinking why she associated the word 'familiar' with Malfoy.

She let out a soft cough to announce her presence and to let Malfoy take the effort to start a conversation. Embarrassingly, he did not seem to hear it. So she gave a second try, but she failed again. She just gave up after that, knowing that Malfoy was deliberately trying to ignore her.

She sat down next to him, racking her brain thinking of something to say. He had his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at he ground and occasionally took a swig of the fire whisky she had bought him earlier.

"You still have your thank you pending for the Christmas present"

Realizing that he couldn't ignore her anymore, he let out a chuckle. Hermione couldn't exactly see Malfoy clearly with the stars as the only source of light. What she could make out was a hint of red on his cheeks probably due to the whisky.

"You confuse me Granger "

Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She was expecting a snarky remark not some kind of confession.

"You're not an open book you self Malfoy" she retorted.

"And you know what the most twisted part is Granger, the fact that I am even trying to figure you out. "

It shocked Hermione that he felt exactly the same way she did. She recalled all the times she had cursed herself for trying or even wanting to try.

" I normally wouldn't want to agree with you but I think we're on the same page Malfoy "

" you may not agree with me when I tell you that it doesn't bother me that much, anymore".

Like as if a second thought he added "here, just forget I ever told you that"

He shoved the bottle towards Hermione and gave her an encouraging nod. Hermione really did not want to tell Malfoy that he was wrong, that it did not bother Hermione anymore, too. Hopelessly wishing that she would forget that she even thought about it , she grabbed the bottle and took a drink. The whisky burnt her throat, the unfamiliar taste made her want to gag and she wondered why people liked to drink this so much. She realized that she was taking way to long analyzing the effects of fire whisky. She felt Malfoy staring at her, her cheeks burned. Either the effects of fire whisky had set in or she was actually blushing. She desperately hoped that it was the fire whisky. Finally after almost a minute she had the courage to look back, and when she did she wished she hadn't.

His grey eyes were a little glazed; his hair was all messed up carelessly falling into his eyes, his cheeks showing faint hints of red. Hermione burst out laughing when she noticed his nose had become a muted shade of red.

Malfoy was completely confused by Hermione's sudden fit of laughter.

"What" he asked accusingly.

"Your nose" Hermione managed to say in between breaths she was taking to control herself from laughing.

"What about my nose" he asked.

"It's all red "she finally managed to choke out. _Why was she finding it so funny_?

He rubbed his nose, even though he knew it would have no effect. Hermione thought she heard him laugh a little but quickly banished the thought because it sounded way too bizarre.

The silence engulfed them again but it did not make her feel uncomfortable. It was as they were in on some kind of agreement. Like they had unknowingly decided that it is okay to just appreciate each other's company without having to say anything.

After a couple of unintended swigs of fire whisky she felt the bottle being taken from her.

"I think that's enough Hermione" she heard him say. She heard a sound come out of her mouth which vaguely sounded like a giggle. _Why was she giggling? Why was he calling her Hermione?_

She heard him get up.

"My arse is going to freeze over if I sit here any longer "

She felt something very close to disappointment. She was about to wish him a merry Christmas and a goodnight when she heard him say.

"Aren't you coming?"

Her jaw almost dropped open. Figuratively of course and she found herself being a little overdramatic when she heard that statement repeat almost thrice inside her head.

He was almost turning the corner when she caught up to him. He walked pretty fast. She could feel him looking at her from the corner of his eyes and she smiled. She had a strange feeling that he was glad that she came.

Their footsteps fell into some kind of rhythm and their sounds helped Hermione block out the effects of the fire whisky. It was kind of clouding her thoughts. As her vision became less fuzzy and mind became clearer she began realizing the peculiarity of the situation. She instantly regretted even thinking about and wished that she could go back to the fuzzy, warm delusion that the fire whisky had so wonderfully created.

They reached the doors of the great hall. Malfoy went ahead and pushed the doors open. Hermione was ready to hear a loud creak but it remained abnormally silent. The lights inside the Great Hall were still on, Malfoy slipped inside and Hermione followed. Malfoy closed the door as she got inside.

The light almost blinded her for a second, she suddenly felt very small before the huge hall. Their footsteps echoing against the tall walls. She was surprised that the hall was so still so brightly lit in the middle of the night.

They stopped right in front of the Christmas tree. They stood there for a while admiring all the lights. Often spotting irregular ornaments: a miniature Ravenclaw beaver weaving in and out, a small broomstick, a bobble head of Merlin the Great which was evidently smiling and she swear she saw a similar one which vaguely looked like Snape but a more cartoonish version. She moved closer to get a better look. She smiled at herself when she realized that she was correct, it was probably some kind of prank.

"Oi Granger I would advise you not to move, I am pretty sure I saw a bowtruckle right above your head".

She let out a laugh.

"Or maybe it's an ornament you never know"

At this she quickly turned around and shoved Malfoy. "I am pretty sure that they remove all the bowtruckles before setting up the Christmas tree."

"Then it's probably an ornament" he confirmed.

Hermione looked back at the tree her eyes looking for other surprises when she spotted something which looked like a unicorn horn.

She gasped.

"Is that real" she asked horrified that they would use it for an ornament.

"Of course not" he answered laughing. "Don't you have one for your Christmas tree at home?"

For a moment Hermione's heart stopped. She felt like as if someone had woken her up from a really good dream. Like as if all she had been finally caught for the endless lies she had told herself to create this other world.

Malfoy's looked confused at Hermione's sudden withdrawal. She expected him to taunt her again like he used to months ago, finally remember that he actually loathed her. But his next move shocked

He turned back to the tree and began speaking.

"Wizards believe that it's good luck to hang an imitation of a unicorn horn in their Christmas trees. They are a sign of purity, a fresh start or a request for absolution. There are more elaborate ones. This one is really pretty though."

She looked up at it. It was quite a site; it reflected the light and gave an orphic glow which was eerily enchanting. She felt her eyes tear up or no logical reason. Christmas just made her a little too sentimental.

Malfoy looked at her and said "you know what Granger, let's get one for you. You're looking at it like some kid drooling over chocolate frogs."

"Accio horn"

It did not work. Hermione suppressed a laugh.

"Seems like we have to get it ourselves" he said. "Okay Granger, up you go"

"Why do I have to go up? I am better at charms" Hermione asked.

"Not the levitating charm I suppose, an evidence of your latest conquest. "

Hermione rolled her eyes. When was he ever going to forget that incident?

"That was a different situation."

"An invalid remark"

"Ughhh"

Hermione prepared herself. Not so confident about Malfoy levitating her to such a height.

"wingardium _leviosa_ "

She felt herself float upwards very gently. _Not so bad_ she thought to herself. Looking down she realized that the unicorn horn was at quite a height.

"Afraid of heights Granger" Malfoy taunted.

"No" Hermione said confidently "it just occurred to me that this is the perfect time to plot your revenge"

Malfoy laughed.

She finally spotted the unicorn horn. She leaned forward to grab it. It was quite big, the original size she assumed. But as she removed it from the tree it shrunk to the size of her pinky.

She smiled; simply charmed objects still amazed her.

"Don't take your time Granger, I can't hold it any longer. "

"Got it" she called out.

Halfway, she became a little unsteady and without warning she began to fall. She gave a short terrified scream and closed her eyes ready for the bone breaking impact. Luckily she landed on something that was not the ground.

She opened her eyes to see that she was sitting on Malfoy.

"Get off Granger, your going to crush me"

She laughed as she quickly got up. Her cheeks were burning red. She smoothed her robes and fixed her hair, feeling embarrassed.

"You're heavier than you look" Malfoy commented.

Hermione decided to ignore the comment.

"So did you get it" he asked with an unfamiliar glint in his eyes which she guessed was excitement.

She held out her hand showing him the shrunken ornament.

He smiled.

His hands closed around hers to create a fist.

"There" he said "Merry Christmas"

* * *

 **This chapter was the longest I have written. Don't worry there is more to come. I would really appreciate your suggestions. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

* * *

As she descended the stairs to the common room she thought of all the events that had happened the night before. She blushed at the thought of Malfoy's departure.

 _They had walked to the Gryffindor tower._

 _"I guess this is when we have to call it a night" he said. When Hermione didn't reply for quite some time .He turned around and began to walk away. "Wait" she called out impulsively. He stopped. Hermione walked to towards him. "One last request" she asked._

 _"What is it Granger?"_

 _She grabbed the bottle of firewhisky and took a quick drink. She saw Malfoy smiling._

 _"Just needed a little more courage" she explained._

 _Then she leaned forward, closed her eyes and kissed him._

 _The fire whisky made things a little blurry. She remembered that when she pulled back Malfoy's eyes were still closed._

 _"Goodnight Draco" she said as she walked to the Fat Lady portrait. She remembered feeling a little giddy. When she turned back to look at him, he was still standing there completely frozen._

She returned from her daydreams when she saw the presents under the Christmas tree. She ran towards them. There were more packages than Hermione had expected. A knitted scarf from the Mrs Weasly, ' New Theory of Numerology' from Harry, a study planner from Ron, her parents had sent her a couple of gifts which including a pretty red sweater.

She hoped that her parents and friends liked the gifts she sent them. That thought really made her miss her usual Christmas celebrations.

She went down to Hargrids Hut to wish him a Merry Christmas. He evidently was very happy that she had come. He offered her some muffins which he had baked. Then he filled her up on some recent events while she helped herself to tea.

" Can I trust yeh with a secret 'mione?" Hagrid whispered.

Hermione nodded, curious about what Hagrid was upto this time.

" I wanted to show it yeh kids later, but i just couldn't wait."

Now Hermione was getting really worried, it wasn't the first time Hagrid was going to show her something which had to be kept a secret. She became even more worried as they trudged further into the forbidden forest.

" I wish Harry and Ron were here" Hagrid said, and Hermione wished it too.

Grawp was quite a big a distraction when it came to forgetting how lonely this Christmas was going to be. She was horrified when Hagrid told her that he had brought his brother ( who was evidently a giant) back from his last adventure. It was an extremely dangerous thing to do, but when Hagrid began talking about how Grawp was the only family he had her heart broke into a million pieces. She agreed to try and be friends with him when Hagrid told her how he really needed some company. Grawp didn't exactly make a good first impression when he practically grabbed Hermione like a rag doll. Though he eventually listened to her .Being friends with Grawp didn't exactly excite Hermione. Hagrid was really pleased though, he told her that he thought Grawp had developed a special liking towards Hermione. But Hermione doubted that Hagrid was right.

When she returned to the castle she ran into another surprise. Malfoy was waiting for her (or at least that's what she assumed) in front of the Fat Lady portrait.

"How would you fancy tea at Hogsmeade , Granger?"

When Hermione didn't reply he went on. "I know you have become quite fond another kind of beverage, but please spare me it's the middle of the day."

Hermione face broke into a huge smile.

"Just a minute"

She almost tripped on the stairs up to her room. She put on her red sweater, and began hurriedly brushing her hair trying to make it less bushy. For a second she wondered what the hell she was doing, but she quickly resumed her activities ignoring her thoughts.

"That took quite a while" he said while giving her a once over. Hermione looked away hoping that her cheeks weren't as red as her sweater.

Hogsmeade looked absolutely beautiful. Floating candles on Christmas trees, pretty lights decorating the cottages which practically looked white due to the snow and the dim sound of Christmas carols. There weren't many people on the street, all shut inside warm pub and breweries.

Most of the stores were closed but some were still in business. Christmas wasn't big enough a reason to stay closed it seemed. The sweet smell of candy wafted out of Honeydukes made Hermione particularly hungry. She noticed that Malfoy too seemed to have a similar idea.

They tried almost all of them or at least as much as they could. Draco showed her how if you dipped any of the Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans into a bowl of Bats blood the bean would become golden and taste like pumpkin juice. He tried tricking her into eating an exploding bonbon but luckily Mr Flume ( who ran honeydukes) hinted her not to and she smartly refused.

But she was not so lucky when he offered her the Tooth Splintering Strong Mint and she oblivious to its horrible effects ate some. After begging for a thousand apologies Hermione forgave Malfoy. Right after being forgiven he laughed and said, " However, it was very amusing Granger."

She thought of giving him a reply to sting his ego but she decided not to. She didn't want to spoil the moment by starting an argument again.

After that she made him eat the candy in front of her before trying it herself.

They had pixie puffs, fizzing whizbees, and so many others. But her favourite ones were the glacial snow flakes. They looked so pretty, enlarged snowflakes made of glass. And when she put them in her mouth it immediately melted leaving behind a sweet taste of chocolate. They bought a dozen sugar quills and wished Mr and Mrs Flume a Merry Christmas as they left.

They couldn't bear cold so they decided to quickly enter the closest cafe or brewery. But as Hermione glanced towards Madam Puddifoot's Teashop he gave her a funny look and mumbled " Seriously Granger."

He dragged her to the Three Broomsticks and she was glad he didn't actually agree with the idea of going to that teashop. She just couldn't imagine Draco and her siting on one of those tiny tables in between all the ribbon and bows, not to mention all the snogging couples.

He ordered two butter beers as they grabbed a table in the corner. They both unconsciously chose that table in the fear of being seen together. They were an unusual site which would create a lot of gossip but luckily there weren't any students there. When she realised that both of them were looking at Madam Rosetta Hermione burst out laughing, when he understood the reason behind her sudden outburst he joined in too.

" Think you can get another bottle Granger?" Malfoy questioned.

Hermione shook her head.

" Even if I could I wouldn't I think I've had enough for this life time."

Malfoy just smirked in response.

They sat down not saying anything for quite a while. Now that Hermione had a chance to start thinking and analyzing the situation she started to become a little nervous. She couldn't make her self look at Malfoy. It wasn't the first time that she was in this situation. The past few weeks she had been in Malfoy's company quite often. The difference was ,now that they both had made an effort to actually spend time together ( that sounded awful in Hermione's head) they didn't know what they were supposed to say to each other. This time it wasn't fate that had brought them together and that revelation made Hermione very uncomfortable. And maybe Malfoy had come across this revelation too because he didn't look very comfortable either.

 _What was I thinking, this is bizarre sitting across Draco Malfoy in the three broomsticks_. Reality came crashing down on her.

 _There is no use pretending_ she thought to herself.

 _A few days can't possibly change a person. He actually hates me and I am supposed to hate him._

What would harry and Ron say if they knew what she was doing right now?

She really wanted herself to stop thinking she didn't want to face the heat.

So she tried to break the ice and engage in a conversation.

" The exploding bonbons are ba….."

Hermione couldn't finish her sentence because she heard a very familiar voice and she looked towards Malfoy completely horrified. He seemed to mirror her expression too. In a second both of them were under the table.

" Thanks Madam Rosmerta, I appreciate your help but I think I can do without any"

" oh Lavender dear have a merry Christmas."

" To you too Madam Rosmerta"

They waited a full two minutes before resurfacing. Things couldn't get more awkward. Hermione felt guilty about acting that way. Maybe because of her horrified expression Malfoy felt obliged to hide too, or maybe he is afraid of being seen together as much as her or even more. It had been so much easier before. She wanted to blame the daylight .It felt like the harsh light seemed to try to force them to see reality of who they really were and how foolish they were to think that what they had could actually mean something. The night had been so much gentler, the stars let them leave their virtues behind and escape the cynics who would eat them alive during the day. She didn't want this to end, whatever it was. She was finally admitting that there was something special when she was with him. She didn't know where the hatred or demise had gone and she didn't want to know. Finally admitting it to only herself made her feel scared, no not scared terrified.

She looked at him anxiously, looking for any signs of guilt which she which was helplessly showing herself. Sensing the tension radiating from Hermione Malfoy became tense too.

" Its okay Granger. It was a close call .If Lavender Brown would have seen us we would have been laughing stocks of the school by next week. But no need to worry I am sure she didn't."

Hermione didn't know what to say but she couldn't stop the hurt registering on her face. Why did she feel hurt? _Because a small part of me still wished that Malfoy wasn't afraid of being seen together._ She quickly waved the thought away.

" Malfoy can I ask you a question?"

He didn't seem very keen on answering any of her questions but she continued anyway.

" Do blood prejudices not bother you anymore?" Hermione knew it was a bold move. She had finally let it out, pricked the bubble which they had created around themselves. She knew that she would regret this decision but she had to ask.

He remained silent, his expression stone cold completely unreadable. Was it too much? Had she finally crossed the line? Or maybe she had just voiced the truth which was lurking in the background the entire time.

He still did not say anything. The silence seemed to answer her question. She didn't know if she felt rage, despair or disappointment. But why would she even feel disappointed, what was she expecting? She felt her eyes tearing up.

" Then why are we doing this?"

" Why are we lying to ourselves? Senselessly acting like we have completely forgotten who we are."

He still remained silent.

" I should have known better Malfoy."

She stormed out hoping that Malfoy couldn't see the tears that were pouring out of her eyes.

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked it! Please do tell me what you guys think. Thanks for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

* * *

 **Why doesn't anyone review. pleaseee tell me something! anything!**

* * *

She remembered that she had her own priorities.

" Harry I know what's going on? Don't do this to yourself! Come out!"

She looked at Ron hopelessly. She had rushed to Grimmauld Place as soon as she got a letter from Ron stating that Harry wasn't exactly doing so well. He had written that Harry was acting very unusual and was trying to avoid everyone. Hermione had left Hogwarts immediately, leaving behind her anxieties so that she could deal with problems that could actually have solutions.

" Its me Hermione. Now open the door Harry."

" How did you get here?"

She rolled her eyes.

" The Knight Bus. Now common! Open up."

The door jerked open and she came face to face with Harry. She pulled him into a rib-crushing hug before he could say a word. After she let him go she took in all changes that Harry had accumulated physically. He looked so much thinner and his eyes seemed strained. There were bags under his eyes, which clearly showed how little sleep he had been getting. Her heart hurt. How could she possibly neglect her best friend? How had she overlooked the fact that her best friend was in so much trouble? Guilt washed over her.

Ron had not been exaggerating when he said that Harry wasn't doing so well.

She clearly noticed how withdrawn Harry had become. He didn't participate in conversation and would rarely even maintain a steady eye contact. Ron had told her about how his nightmares were getting worse. Harry wouldn't admit it but his screams in the middle of the night were enough evidence. She wanted him to know that he could trust her. That she was there for him and so were the others. He was fighting the battle alone and that was the last thing she wanted him to do.

She and Ron finally managed to corner him and ask him to open up. He refused to until they forced him. They yelled at him trying to get some sense into him letting him know that he could tell them whatever he had bottled up inside and for the thousandth time reminding him that they were his friends. He finally let his defenses down. He told them everything. He told them about how he felt guilty and even a little responsible about what happened to Mr. Weasly, he said that in the dream he felt like he was the snake that had attacked him. He told them that he was afraid that he was going crazy, like as if Voldemort had possessed him and now he was becoming evil. When he had finished Ron and Hermione were completely speechless.

They reassured Harry that it was not Harry's fault at all. " You can't help the fact that you and Voldemort are connected" Hermione had said. Ron told Harry how grateful his family was to him. Harry didn't look very convinced but he looked less stressed. Maybe sharing his thoughts had lessened the burden.

Hermione dreaded her return to Hogwarts.

On her return Hermione was completely consumed in her activities that she hardly had any time to even think about matters that she had so foolishly dreaded. There were more important things to fret about, for example the OWLS. She was already worried about herself but her time was entirely consumed worrying about Ron and Harry .The more time she spent with Ron and Harry the easier it was to forget. It did help that she was trying her best to avoid anything that would trigger her memory and open the floodgates that she had so expertly sealed. To her surprise it wasn't so difficult. He kept out of her way and she hardly ever saw him, he had stopped attending the DA sessions and she was glad that he did. Now it felt like some surreal dream, some thing her imagination had conjured. Those moments felt so distant from reality, a memory tucked into the darkest crevices of her mind. And she wanted to make sure it stayed that way.

* * *

"Everyone stand back" Harry's voice echoed through the Room. There was complete silence except for the loud thudding sound coming from the wall opposite the door. Every one wore an expression of extreme confusion. Another thud and this time a brick fell off. They could hear muffled voices from the other side. The voices got clearer and panic flowed through them when they heard the high-pitched laugh of delight, which only Umbridge could conjure. All at once everyone rushed towards the door. She pushed her way towards Harry who was busy guiding everyone else out. When he spotted her trying to get to him he shoved her out the door.

" Hermione hurry up!"

" But Harry!?"

" I said go!"

Hermione couldn't help it as she was pushed outside. Once in the corridor she tried to look for Harry and Ron but she couldn't find them. She decided to get away from the commotion and the confusion. Had they finally been caught? If so, how? How did Umbridge ever come to know about the Room of Requirement? Had some one ratted them out? That is when she had her worst epiphany.

A huge wave of emotions washed over her and out of all the indescribable emotions she felt the only one, which stood out, was rage. Pure anger and she knew perfectly whom it should be directed at.

It wasn't hard to find him. She knew he would be there at the corner of the library unconsciously she had mapped his most frequently visited spots in her mind. He had his back towards her as she walked towards him. She knew why, he couldn't face anyone with what he had done. The physical marks of his betrayal should have been big enough a punishment but she felt like he had violated bigger laws than that she had an urge to inflict emotional pain. She had never felt so much anger before. Her steps heavy and her mouth itching to shout curses she approached Draco.

" Finally did it. Didn't you?"

" You filthy moral less monster! Proved your worth? Done with your act now? "

He didn't even flinch. He had chosen silence once again.

" Why don't you speak up? You can't possibly be ashamed can you?"

" Can't even admit that you actually are a heartless, evil rat?"

She heard Malfoy's chair drag as he got up.

" What exactly are you accusing me of?"

She watched him as he questioned her. His face with the same iron mask that he used to have on before. For a second she was paralyzed. Why hadn't the hex worked? It had to! Anyone who had signed that parchment and ratted out the DA would be entitled to boils on his or her face spelling the word 'sneak'. It didn't take her much time to figure out why the hex didn't work- it was because Malfoy the culprit in the first place.

* * *

They sat in a classroom writing lines. Now she understood why Umbridge made Harry write lines during detention. She held back a gasp, which was about to escape her mouth, the back of her hand stinging. Though a lot of them had escaped that night they hadn't exactly escaped Umbridge's wrath, she had some how gotten hold of the list which included all of their names. That included Malfoy. All the DA members were gobsmacked. Just like Hermione they had suspected Malfoy too. The Slytherins were more confused than the DA members , never had they expected Malfoy to be involved in a club which included such a big number of Gryffindors. It seemed that the unfortunate incident had affected Malfoy the most. His reputation as a chauvinist had disappeared overnight and members of his house started avoiding him. Already suffering from an identity crisis Malfoy had to attend a two-hour detention with rest of the DA members, his pale hands were so easily scarred.

Hermione had never felt so guilty about being wrong. She couldn't even face him after what she had said to him. She felt a tear drop on the back of her hand making it sting more. She closed eyes to stop the tears from coming. She felt a knot rise in her throat. She had so ruthlessly lashed out on him. She had been so cruel to him.

She was the one who had ended what ever they had. And she had completely destroyed any chances of feelings resurfacing by blindly blaming him. She was the culprit, helplessly believing that she could fix the damages

She was on the way to the Greenhouse when she met Luna. She had probably lost something again and was probably trying to find it.

" Hey Luna"

" Hello Hermione."

" Lost something again?" Hermione asked earnestly.

" Not exactly, just trying to watch out for Moon Frogs. They are exceptionally rare, they are said to appear when a place is particularly gloomy. If you do spot one its good luck."

Hermione gave her a weak smile. She didn't know if Moon Frogs where real (they probably were not, she was pretty sure of that).

" Hogwarts does seem a little too gloomy these days." Hermione mumbled.

" I did notice. Especially after what happened to the DA, I feel really sorry that it happened at all."

" I didn't see it coming too Luna. If only Marietta Edgecombe had some moral sense."

" Oh I don't blame Marietta for what happened. It was only a matter of time; I think a lot of people misunderstand her. We should understand the fact that she was under a lot of pressure too. People are often misjudged. We can't only be what people think we are."

Hermione felt her stomach tightening.

" I would forgive her"

Hermione felt bile rise to her throat. " You woul..would.. wha..tt?"

" Oh I mean I have forgiven her"

She felt as if someone had stabbed her. She stood still for a moment and began to sprint. She looked back towards Luna and thanked her.

" I hope you see a Moon frog" she heard Luna say.

She wished that she did too.

* * *

Her heart was hammering.

" You two go on," she told Harry and Ron. She tried to find his platinum head among the crowd. They were just done with detention and everyone was going back to their dorms. She followed him towards the dungeons. They were alone. He was probably the only Slytherin out of bed right now. She followed him discreetly for quite some time; she couldn't gather the courage to face him. Halfway there he stopped walking.

 _There just say it now_ she told herself.

" Malfoy"

He didn't turn to face her. She waited a few seconds for him to. He still didn't. She walked in front of him and faced him. She was glad he didn't turn away.

" I don't know where to start but I do know that I don't deserve to be even asking you for an apology. I made big mistakes and I admit that it was my fault. I was a judgmental, self-righteous and ungrateful tosser. By some miracle we did more than just tolerate each other and I think I just began growing fond of you because you were good to me. I felt like you opened up and even if you didn't I just wanted to tell you that , _I_ _did_. You began to make me forget and I just threw it away. I felt like I had done the right thing because whatever we had didn't make sense and I thought that it was better that it was over."

She had run out of breath.

" But I was wrong, I was wrong in trying to find logic because I learned that it's better to not know some things."

She felt her eyes tear up.

"And I just made things worse a few days ago didn't I? Just crippled any chances of forgiveness."

She looked up at him. He had on the mask that he used to remove when he was with her. He wasn't even looking at her, his eyes looked straight ahead.

" I know that it's useless saying it. But I'am so...rry.. so sorry."

He remained silent. And it hurt again. It hurt more than it did the last. The silence began to hurt her ears. She looked at his fists, which were clenched tight. The back of his hand was still read.

" Here let me fix that for you"

She took out some Shrivelfig leaves, which she had shoved in the pockets of her robes earlier. She bent forward and took his hand. She was glad that he didn't pull back. She began rubbing the leaves on the wound.

" It heals faster and it also helps with th..th..the sc..scars" she managed to say trying to keep her voice steady.

She realised that her tears were wetting Malfoy's hand, but she didn't stop. She kept rubbing even though she knew that it was enough. His hand was cold and pale as ever. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't hold back. She began to unashamedly cry. Tears were pouring out, her nose started to run and she tasted salt.

" if yo…yo..you apply them before detention it sho…should hurt le..le..less" she was probably bawling.

She could hear her sobs echo down the deserted corridors. But she didn't want to hear her voice she wanted to hear _his_. She didn't know how long they stood like that. She finally stopped rubbing the leaves on his hand. She took his rough hands against her soft ones and held them to her face.

" _Say something_ "

* * *

 **And that's the end of the chapter. Can it be considered a cliffhanger? Any way I am completely open towards suggestions. Let me know what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

 ** _Sorry readers, had a serious mind block and couldn't write a word for weeks. Luckily there was some one to help me to get through it ( thank you). So hope this lives up to your expectations._**

It was much easier to let go when she knew she couldn't or shouldn't hold on any longer. She was more glad than heartbroken relieved to know that there weren't going to be any what-ifs clouding her with doubt. She wasn't afraid of displaying her emotions anymore and she felt bolder more in control of her life. She had done her part and now she could let fate take care of it. She felt a warm feeling flow through her as she finished the last piece of the glacial snowflake , it brought back a flood of memories which she didn't regret at all.

She didn't regret the arguments, the conversations, and the kisses. She didn't regret her mistakes nor her apologies. And if her words and his silence were a sign of an end of some sort of closure then she was fine with it. She didn't expect more, whatever had happened was already unimaginable and she had just begun to believe it herself. She had given up her excuses and had faced the truth, the unavoidable truth and she wasn't going to hide from it. She accepted her twisted fate and she was would accept whatever it would throw at her, she was done with denial. She was determined to go on to move forward with the rest of the world. She did miss how time had stopped for a while, how the rest of the world hadn't mattered for some time, but she was going to run late if she let her emotions freeze time all over again.

"Here are your revision timetables" she told Ron and Harry as she put forward carefully planned timetables. Their OWLS were a few weeks away and Ron and Harry thought they still had some months left. Seeing their astonished faces as she explained to them the timetable gave her a sense of satisfaction. What would they do with out me? She thought to herself. The school had gone through tremendous changes in just a few weeks. Dumbledore was gone and umbridge was assigned headmistress, and the student body had suddenly become a nuisance. It all started with Fred and George's fireworks. It was all downhill after that, dungbombs mysteriously exploding in classes, the teachers expertly denying any evidence or witnesses, and Peeves trying more hard than usual to create trouble. The students relished the look on Umbridge's face when ever she had to encounter another hilarious problem. It was like all the students now stood on a common ground by their shared hatred towards Umbridge. Everyone except for the inquisitorial squad.

With their approaching OWLS all of them were called for a individual appointments with their respective Head of House. Hermione was thrilled to get an opportunity to discuss all her options with Mcgonagall, she had already gone over so many choices.

With their approaching OWLS all of them were called for a individual appointments with their respective Head of House. Hermione was thrilled to get an opportunity to discuss all her options with Mcgonagall, she had already gone over so many choices.

Her appointment had been scheduled for half past two on Tuesday so she would be missing most of her Arithmancy class. She hurried to Mcgonagall's office praying that she was not late, unfortunately she was not late but somebody else was way too early for their appointment. Was his appointment even with _Mcgonagall_?

" Yes, that seems plausible but your unlikely to get the grade you need in order to pursue transfiguration."

" professor" he stated aggressively.

" Some credit could be given for my recent elevation of grades I suppose."

" Mr Malfoy, the grade you receive at the end of your OWL is not the result of the efforts you have put in at the last minute, but an accumulation of all your efforts through the years. And you certainly did not seem interested to keep up your grades in the early years. Unfortunately you do have to suffer the repercussions."

A long silence ensued which was probably because the threatening glare he was giving her.

" You wouldn't say the same to Potter, would you professor? In fact you have taken up the task of making sure he becomes an auror. And he certainly has the best grades in our year."

The sarcasm must have stung . Malfoy had no filter even when conversing with professors. Hermione tried to ignore the familiarity that she felt when ever she saw him and but did not shy away from his gaze. His eyes met hers and she felt some thing flicker but he quickly looked away and walked out. She was called back from her thoughts when Mcgonagall beckoned her in.

"I am sorry for the delay. Your session was rudely interrupted by a very frustrated Mr Malfoy, I apologize I should have made it shorter. Everyone faces dilemma when the OWLS are approaching."

Hermione peered over her mark sheet. Mostly filled with Os ( outstanding).

"Ms Granger I must say that your grades are remarkable and you are open to quite a lot of options. But what have you opted for?"

Hermione remained silent she couldn't think of any one career she really wanted to pursue.

" How about healing, or perhaps being an auror is exciting?" Mcgonagall suggested.

"Everyone seems to be fixated on that career option, even the most unlikely of people."

Hermione found that comment rather off putting since she knew who it was directed at.

The rest of discussion was a blur. In the end Hermione only felt more confused about her career choice.

It was the same for days study, sleep, eat, practice. Hermione loved it. The only part which she did not, was the anxiety the approaching test brought along. She would nibble her nails raw and would not get any sleep at night. She was terrified. She did not want to mess this up. This was the first step she was going to take which would determine her future in this magical world which had been foreign to her five years ago. She had worked so hard and it was all going to come down to a few hours in the examination hall. She dreaded those hours. She needed to prove that she was a competent witch, just like any other, and that she deserved the same amount of respect. It was much more than a test for her.

Hermione found her self loitering the corridors early morning looking for a perfect place to practice her charms. She decided to practice by the lake. It was a chilly morning and her cloak felt heavy but the cold winds got rid of her drowsiness.

She practiced her locomotion charms, transfiguration charms and even tired to conjure a patronus. Tired and sleepy she sat next to the lake watching the lake. She tired to close her eyes and get some sleep, she had had quiet a few sleepless nights now.

Her eyes flew open when she felt the earth shake. She immediately got up her looking around for any sort of danger. Everything was completely normal except for a distant sound of someone practicing charms. Curious to see who it was she followed the voice. She was not surprised to see Malfoy.

" _Impedimenta_ "

The spell hit the tree right it the middle. The bark of the tree sizzled and the tree shuddered with its impact. He fired the spell multiple times at different trees, the ground quaked and the birds residing in the trees fled in panic.

Hermione was impressed.

" I am pretty sure that the jinx isn't in the syllabus"

Malfoy swung around unwelcome to the intruder who had so annoying disturbed his practice session.

" Unlike you Granger, I like to prepare for real life not examinations."

Hermione was so surprised to hear a reply that she was too baffled to come back with a stinging remark.

" So an auror? Quite unexpected Malfoy."

" You know what's unexpected Granger? Conversation with a mud blood. So get out."

Hermione didn't even flinch she knows we he didn't mean it. The way his face flickered when he said that word proved it.

" I thought you were over all that Malfoy."

" You thought wrong. And now if you are done here it would do you good to leave me alone."

Hermione felt angry now. She was no more sorry just plain annoyed. She couldn't live like this. In uncertainty and confusion. She felt determined that when she left she would either leave with a beginning or an ending.

" What do you get from lying to yourself? Denying yourself from accepting the truth like as if the truths going to kill you."

" Haven't you noticed Granger, it is killing me. It is hurting me, slowly and ruthlessly, and I have been trying to get away to get out of my system, swear I have. But it feels like it's growing on me, your growing me. Please spare me the trouble and just go, make it easier for once."

" Malfoy. It isn't going to be easier if you just keep avoiding me like this. I have come in terms with this…… situation, you should too."

" Which situation? The one where I am freaking feeling for a muggle born. The one in which feels like a terrible dream. A dream which I would see a hundred times over. This whole this is messing my head over. It's like every time I am with you I am somewhere else, somewhere better, some where other than this disintegrating hell. But I would rather stay in hell, because that place, that somewhere doesn't actually exists"

Hermione felt herself give in. The part of her brain which made rational decisions went numb.

"Who says it doesn't exist" she said taking timid steps towards him, afraid that he'll back away.

But he didn't, he just stood there defeated. His head down his eyes lost.

Her heart beat sped up when she got close enough to him. She was so scared that he might just dismiss her like he did the last time. Just completely ignore her presence. But he didn't. he actually looked at her.

It had been so long since she had actually looked into his grey eyes. He looked tired, withdrawn as if he had had enough of this world. She wanted to be his relief, his escape.

" We can do it again. Create that somewhere. It isn't difficult Draco."

He looked away from her gaze.

" You don't understand. Its just inside our heads its not reality. It won't last."

Hermione reached for him, making him face her, her hand enveloping his left cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch.

" Then let's stay till it lasts."


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

 ** _Please forgive me for the super late u pdate, I promise it will be worth it. Constrcutve criticism is welcome!_**

* * *

It was terrifying wonderful. Draco opened up to her miraculously, she sensed his ease at her presence and it made her heart swell. They didn't spend a lot of time together. But it didn't matter. It was the little things that did, like the quick smiles while rushing through the corridors, the hushed goodnights and the newfound courtesy which he showed towards her ( he had made sure Hermione got a piece of bezoar in potions class).

And the best part of it all? Nobody knew about it. It was their little secret and she didn't mind that it was. She didn't feel guilty about not telling Ron and Harry, it felt so personal and she didn't want to share it with anyone but Draco. Not feeling guilty also made it a lot more convenient, she wouldn't have to go through all of the drama.

Draco was right when he said that it wasn't reality because it didn't feel like reality. Never in her right mind had she thought she would be snogging _Draco Malfoy_ in the secret passages in the middle of the night. Never had she imagined that the first thing she would do during breakfast was seek his platinum blonde head in the sea of green clad Slytherin. And never had she been so happy about her favourite spot in the library being taken. Because it gave her an excuse to sit on a spot five seats away form him.

"What will you include in the diet of a sick unicorn?"

" Uhhh probably tea leaves and powdered dragon claws?" Malfoy stammered.

"and dried doxy droppings" Hermione completed.

Malfoy groaned out of frustration.

Hermione smiled but it was a weak smile.

"Can't wait for the OWLS to actually begin" Malfoy said.

"I actually wish I had more time." Hermione confessed.

He looked at her as if she was insane.

"Your already prepared Granger, you probably could write those tests in your sleep"

"Only if I could actually get some sleep" Hermione replied.

At this Malfoy paused for a while. His eyes scanned every inch of her. Her tired posture, the bags under her eyes, the deep frown lines and her more than usual bush of curls.

"You know what let's just forget about the OWLS for a while. I think you need some time off."

 _Time off?_

Malfoy grabbed her hand.

"I want to show you something."

Hermione took in the familiar corridor where the Room of Requirement would usually be.

"If the Room of Requirement is where your taking me Malfoy you'd be disappointed to know I have already been there."

Malfoy frowned at her.

"The thing is you've never been there with me."

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"DA sessions?" she questioned.

"Let me rephrase that. You've never been there with me _alone_."

After much waiting huge doors appeared on the previously empty walls.

Hermione looked at Malfoy.

"Go on" he encouraged.

Hermione pushed open the door. At first Hermione found it hard for her eyes to adjust to the dark room. There werestacks of furniture on top of another. Thousands and thousands of books; there were winged catapults, fanged Frisbees, potion bottles, cloaks, jewels, hats all sorts of objects. The room had high ceilings and there were alleyways between piles of objects. Hermione was mystified. She guessed that most of the stuff here were either meant to hidden or were carelessly thrown.

"I am pretty sure that I saw this in the restricted section of the library." she said picking up a thick book with red bindings.

"Granger, I don't seem to recognize this, is it some kind of muggle artefact?" he asked holding up an iron with its plug dangling.

"How in Merlin's name did it get here"

Hermione laughed.

"It's used to get all the wrinkles in your clothes to straighten out." she offered as an explanation.

They walked deeper into the room and she could not help being amazed.

"I remember when I was little when ever anything would get lost I would be convinced that I would never find it again. I imagined that the stuff ended up in some place like this, a place where lost things went."

Malfoy gave her his most quizzical expression.

 _He's probably thinking why I just didn't use the Accio charm to find stuff._

"I didn't know about magic till I was twelve Malfoy." she reminded him.

"I know. It's just that I find it unbelievable to know that you lived twelve years without magic."

"I just can't imagine it."

Hermione sighed. She thought of how different their lives were before Hogwarts.

"Well it wasn't that great. I didn't fit in that well with the muggles but I guess all muggleborns face that problem. But then again I had very loving parents so I didn't know I was missing out so much."

Malfoy still looked confused.

"I still don't get it Granger."

"it's okay" Hermione replied.

"It wasn't an apology though." he said a smirk on his face.

She rolled her eyes and moved on. A gramophone was lying on a broken armchair. A record was already placed on it but it looked kind of broken.

" _reparo"_

A crack and it looked brand new. She put the needle on the record and then slowly it began playing. At first she could heat faint sounds but as it got louder she could hear the music. She didn't recognize the song it was probably a Wizarding band.

Malfoy's ears perked up.

"Merlin I haven't heard this song in years."His eyes wandered off as if he was visiting some old memory.

Hermione took his hand.

"Dance with me."

Malfoy looked at her with surprise.

"Absolutely not."

Hermione did not give up so easily.

"Oh, don't be a spoilsport." she said.

"Don't tell me you don't know how to or let me guess Malfoys don't dance."

Malfoy glared at her.

"To your surprise Granger we do. In fact mother used to host the most exquisite balls and I have been trained quite well."

Hermione was indeed surprised.

"So why not now?" she asked.

"This place surely doesn't look like a ballroom the music though beautiful isn't the perfect one for a waltz and your uniform can't be in any way be transfigured into a decent gown and plus you would probably be stepping all over my feet if we were to dance."

Hermione laughed.

"We don't exactly have to waltz." She took his hands and placed it on her waist.

"All we have to do is just sway to the music." she said placing her own hands on his shoulders.

He began to move a little his body stiff but moving none the less.

"Just so you know Granger this isn't a dance."

"shhh shut up for once will you?"

Hermione placed her head in the space between his neck and collar bone, she felt his body ease a little. The song ended on a high note but they didn't stop. She hugged him tighter and closed her eyes just so that she could burn this moment into her memory.

Another song began playing.

"This feels so surreal" she whispered.

"How do we know its real Draco?" she asked him. Still hugging as they swayed to a beat they didn't recognize.

"That's the thing Hermione" he said his lips almost touching her ear.

"It's not."

* * *

"Harry, wait" Hermione called out huffing as she finally caught up to him.

"What happened with your occlumency lessons?" she asked.

Harry seemed hesitant to answer.

"I don't want to lie, Hermione, it didn't go so well."

Hermione gave him a dangerous look.

"Actually it was pretty bad, so bad that Snape canceled the rest of the lessons." he confessed.

"He can't! Dumbledore asked him to help you close your mind and as far as I know you still don't know how to do it." she said in a fit of anger.

"Harry you have to go back to Snape and ask him to continue your lessons."

"No way 'mione. Even if I did he wouldn't listen."

"What exactly did you do that Snape canceled all your future lessons?" she asked curiously.

"Snape had a pensive in his office and I saw something I shouldn't have."

"I'll tell you and Ron the details in the common room." he promised as he hurried off.

 _A pensive._ She thought and then Hermione had an idea.

She made sure the corridor was empty before beckoning Malfoy to come forward.

"You should tell me where we are going Granger because clearly I know the way around the dungeons way more than you do."

She motioned him to be quiet as they finally reached the door of Snape's office.

"okay help me out here Malfoy. Does he have a password or does he lock it?" she asked confident that he was informed about such matters.

"First tell me why you want to break into his office." he said doing his fair share of bargaining.

"Don't be a git and just answer the question" she deadpanned.

"password" he finally let out. Hermione's face fell.

"And I know it," he said with an air of superiority.

Hermione smiled.

Malfoy whispered some flower's name and they slid inside.

Just like Harry had said a pensive lay on the table in the middle of the room.

"So what do you want to show me," he asked finally figuring out the purpose of breaking into Snape's office.

"I want to help you understand," she said trying to maintain the mystery.

Malfoy didn't object the short explanation.

She murmured the incantation as she pulled a silvery mist out of her forehead the memory was still crystal clear.

" _Hermione could you please get the door?" her mom called out._

" _I got it" she said running down the stairs in her bare feet not even out of her pajamas yet._

 _She turned a couple of locks and pulled the door open. There stood a tall old-lady dressed in a black cloak with a pointy hat sitting on her head._

 _Hermione didn't recognize her at all._

" _Your name is Hermione isn't it?" the lady asked._

" _Yes, yes it is "she replied. She had her doubts about this lady, there was something unusual._

" _Who is it?" her father asked coming out the kitchen to see why Hermione was taking so long._

 _Her dad seemed a little surprised at the sight too._

" _Mr. Granger," the lady said with a courteous nod._

" _I am Professor Mcgonagall and I teach at a school for gifted students. I was interested in your daughter and I was wondering if I could have a word with you and your wife about your daughter's future prospects."_

 _Her father seemed delighted._

" _Of course come in please. We are so sorry we kept you at the door for quite a while." He said rushing her in._

" _Would you like some tea?" he offered._

" _A pleasure, thank you"_

" _My wife will be down in a second"_

 _Hermione's dad set down the tea on the table and in a second Hermione's mom was running down the stairs anxious to see what was causing so much commotion._

 _The old lady introduced herself again and Hermione's mother was perplexed._

" _You see we take our daughter's education very seriously and are delighted to know about any established institutions interested in her "her mother stated._

 _The lady smiled and glanced at Hermione who was now seated next to her mother._

" _Before I get to that, I would just like to once again remind you how special your daughter really is. I wanted to ask you if you've observed anything unusual or different about Hermione."_

 _Both her parents look completely befuddled._

" _Let me put that differently."_

" _Have you observed your child do some thing the other kids can't, something that seems a little out of the world?"_

 _Hermione's mother frowned at her husband. And they both looked at the lady with doubtful faces._

" _It's okay; you don't have to share them with me. I know they happened. Well I just wanted to confirm your suspicions." she went on not waiting for any answers from the Grangers._

" _Hermione here has some special abilities that make her different. Those abilities open up a new world to her. A world which was previously concealed from your eyes. In this world people have abilities similar to Hermione's abilities which we normally would call magic."_

 _Hermione could feel her heart beat. She didn't understand what was going on. Her parents now looked angry. Was what this lady trying to say. That's when it hit Hermione. She ran from living room up the stairs into her room. She locked her door and crawled under her bed to retrieve a hidden shoe box._

 _She understood what the lady was trying to say. Incidents which seemed unusual and almost magical. Things Hermione could do that other kids couldn't. Hermione had proof, she had been collecting it for years._

 _She lifted the top off the shoe box. Inside was a flower which she had preserved she remembered how the wilted petals had come back to life when she had touched it. There was a small golden bell which she had acquired during Christmas. She remembered staring longingly at it and how she thought it had flown towards she doubted whether it actually had. Photos from her vacation in France where she swore she had spotted white horses flying behind a few buildings and unfortunately they looked like doves in the photo she took of them. Pages torn from diaries where she recounted a few more experiences. She could show it to them prove them that the old lady was right. She ran downstairs but stopped halfway when she heard her dad arguing._

 _Her mom came up the stairs and asked her to return to her room._

" _We will tell you all about it later honey. Why don't you leave us alone for a while."_

 _Hermione unwillingly went back to her room. She knew that her parents couldn't be easily convinced about changing her school. She went to a pretty expensive private school. But she had to go to this special school where she actually belonged. And magic? Were the incidents that had happened to her had anything to do with magic? She fell asleep on the bed dreaming of the school._

 _She sat on the bed with her mom and dad at her side._

" _And where will I get my books?"_

" _The professor told us not to worry about it and that they would send some people to take care of it." her mom reassured her._

" _Is it far away ,the school?" she asked again._

" _Unfortunately so I fear. But honey that school is going to change your life. Your going to learn to do amazing things" Her father replied._

 _She saw her mother's eyes glisten with tears._

" _Are you sad mum that I have to go to that school?"_

" _Oh no, not at all I am so proud of you dear. You make us so happy." she said while her father nodded his head in agreement._

" _So... so... Happy" he agreed._

" _What if I am not smart enough?" she asked suddenly scared about going to a completely unknown place._

" _You are honey. But that's not the point, that's not important. What you need to have is courage. You need to be brave and be ready to face anything that they throw at you. And I know you will. My daughter is a very brave girl."_

 _She remembered feeling a strong emotion overcome her when she looked into her mother's eyes. She remembered feeling invincible._

Malfoy's face was unreadable when he pulled back from the pensive. Hermione didn't want to ask him if he finally understood. She knew he did or at least she trusted him to.

"A Gryffindor"

"huh?" Hermione mumbled.

"A Gryffindor" he repeated.

"Your mother would have been a Gryffindor."

She smiled.

"Yeah, I figured that too."

They stood there for a while. She felt like just because she showed him a memory he felt obliged to do so too. Though she felt a little disappointed that he did not but she didn't want to pressurize knew he didn't trust easily that it would be harder for him to open up than it was for her. But she could be patient.

"It's okay you don't have to do it too "she reassured him.

She was surprised when he raised his wand it his head and removed a silvery substance from it and put it in the pensive just as she had.

Then he looked at her. He looked so vulnerable then. And she suddenly felt this possessiveness come over and she made a promise to herself, she made a promise to protect him.

She took a deep breath as the pensive took her inside Draco's memories.

 _He sat at the end of a long table, on the other end sat Narcissa Malfoy her back straight as she elegantly worked her way through her dinner. The table had a lavish display of dishes but the young Malfoy had nothing on his plate. Eleven year old Draco had the same air of arrogance that the seventeen year old Draco did._

" _Father won't be returning for dinner?" he questioned._

" _No, he won't." his mother answered._

" _Has my letter arrived yet?"_

" _No, not yet" she answered, again._

 _Draco stared at his empty plate._

" _Kirke's letter has already arrived and he already has a wand too" whined Draco._

 _Narcissa Malfoy looked annoyed._

" _Draco, don't be so impatient, there is absolutely no need to fret over such minor issues. Your father has already you that as soon as the letter will arrive we will be off to Diagon Alley."_

" _And for Andrew Kirke, he must probably be inventing his own stories. Keep some distance from him. Children of Gryffindor lineage have a tendency to boast."_

 _Draco pushed his empty plate away._

" _You expect me to mix with dimwits like Crabbe and Goyle? I know your just angry because i will be going away!"_

 _Narcissa Malfoy's face broke into a smile. Her twelve year old son had just read her mind. She got up from her side of the table and walked towards him._

" _Mummy isn't going to stop looking after you even when you go to Hogwarts." she said as she levitated different assortments of food onto Draco's plate._

" _Now when you get there, things are going to be different. You're going to meet many different people telling you all sorts of things, but i want you to remember Draco, i want you to remember that you are special; you've got blood of great Slytherins flowing in your veins. You carry a legacy of the Malfoy family in you."_

 _She bent down so that her face was in level with Draco she took his small pale hands and slipped silver onto his finger._

" _It's a family heirloom, wear it with pride."_

And as Draco stared into his mother's eyes the memory disintegrated and Hermione was back in Snape's office.

Hermione didn't know what to say. The striking differences in their childhood shouldn't be a surprise but it was, the contrast was unbelievable. Could his unpleasant behavior all these years be excused?

It was such a short memory but it explained so much. She understood why he felt what he felt. But a voice at the back of her head kept on prodding an unavoidable question. How long can you blame a person's fate for his actions?

Draco was watching her draw her conclusions his face devoid of hope, expecting her to leave. But she didn't she stayed. She observed how his features were still the same but his face reflected different emotions.

Both of them just stood there like that, wondering how on earth they ended up in this situation. Both wanting to say something to break the silence but both hesitant to, they saw each other in a different light.

And they accepted each other, not ignoring their flaws but finally acknowledging them.

* * *

 _ **END OF PART 1**_


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